I’m a fighter. Not that I can hold my own in a fist-duel with Mike Tyson (or Cicely Tyson for that matter), but if I really want something to happen I won’t take no for an answer. Even while playing Words With Friends I refuse to resign even if all I have left is an X and two T’s. I have to be forced out kicking and screaming. So when I learn about people who have given up on a dream because someone put up a Dead End sign in front of them, the anger sets my blood to boil.
“Who told you it was impossible?” I rant. Then I go through a list of possibilities – options so they will not have to give up. But sometimes I’m wrong. That student will never be an astronaut. That dream job will never materialize. That singer will never cut a record for a big-name label. And those are demoralizing assertions. Who wants to admit that their sole reason for living has exploded in their face?
That’s when the Polyanna, glass-half-full part of me pops out like a bud through the snows of early Spring. “Maybe there’s something else you can do,” I offer.
There’s always that.
Maybe you’ve spent a lifetime as a secretary when budget cuts hit your department and you were left jobless and without insurance. No matter where you look, no one needs a 40-year-old secretary who’s the diabetic single mother of two kids – too expensive when they can hire a 20-year-old with spunk and no dependents.
That doesn’t mean that mother should give up. “Just change your goals,” Mari-Polyanna says. Sure, maybe she’ll have to whip up Lattes as a barista until something else comes up, but something will come up. There has to be a silver lining, right?
Maybe that Dead End sign was really a Merge Right in disguise. Maybe the kid who wanted to be an astronaut can become a computer technician at NASA. Maybe that singer will find spiritual fulfillment leading the church choir.
Recently, a young friend learned she was not accepted into the Veterinary magnet school program at the school she’s been dreaming about for years. Instead, she was offered another academic option with the opportunity to volunteer at the veterinary clinic as part of her community service. “Great,” I said.
“Not great,” she said. The thought of having to take classes outside of her interest was insulting to her. But she’s on the waiting list. When school starts up again in August, I’m almost certain she will be in the Veterinary program, but if she’s not, I think other options will open up for her. She just needs to wait a little; it’s hard to get that through to someone who’s got her heart set on a dream, though.
My point is that too many of us can’t see past the dream. Maybe what we always wanted is unattainable for us unless we learn to work around the speed bumps. Maybe all we have to do is remember to think outside the box. Maybe with a couple of minor changes our dreams will come true.
If I had one wish, I would want my readers to remember that nothing in our lives should be forced to yield to someone else’s traffic signals. This life is too random for you to force a Stop sign into your path because, really, it’s not a full stop. Maybe it’s just a Detour.
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